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What on earth do you think you do? comed to the ear splitted cry from the top of the stairs.
There was no doubt about it - I had once more been caught in a most embarrasing situation by my Aunt Dorothy, the only one of my seven aunts whom, traditionally, I always tried to avoid since the day I learnt to crawl.
The reason for this was simple: whenever, as a small girl, I was involved in some doubtful activity, fate had generally arranged that she was the one who discovered me at the worst possible moment.
I'm still thinking that, if I was a boy, she might not react in the same way but, even on her best days, Aunt Dorothy, who died in tragic circumstances on my twenty-first birthday, looked like some mythical fire breathing dragon that was on the point of launching a merciless attack on the entire male species, and she could never accept that a niece of hers should have tomboy tendecies.
"Nice girls", she repeated to me at least a dozen times day, bahaving like young ladies, and not like horribly muddy little schoolboys who looked as if they just came off the rugby field."
While I was standing there at the bottom of the stairs, wishing I would be on another planet, I realised that luck was definitely not on my side.
Conspiring against me were my dripped raincoat - it has been raining hard for over an hour - my mud covered boots -